Too lazy and disorganized to put together a wedding, local couple flies off to Vegas to get hitched

Love me tender...love me true.
Photos by Juan the photographer

 

By Persephone Bolero-Trenton

VEGAS — Leslie Trenton and Persephone Bolero had been planning their wedding for weeks. It was a daunting task for the couple. Trenton, a bush pilot who had spent his life drifting through adventures across the globe, lacks any sense of organization. Bolero, publisher of the most widely read newspaper in the Amazon, is far too lazy for such effort. 

“Oh my god. You have to do all this stuff,” Bolero-Trenton complained. “I was hoping to hire a wedding planner, but it’s hard enough to find a good maid just to clean our house. We weren’t going to find a skilled event planner in this mosquito-infested backwater.” 

A few weeks since Trenton proposed to the journalist, the couple had only managed to decide on a theme and the color of Trenton’s tux. Bolero calculated that at their pace, the wedding would likely happen sometime after 2075. 

 

Trenton proposed at a Libertad brunch while
Tantrica had sex with some girl at the table.

 

In the interest of getting married while both of them were still alive, the couple decided to elope in Vegas. They hired local photographer Juan to capture the special event, and got married in a charming Elvis chapel just off the Las Vegas Strip. 

With an Elvis impersonator in tow, the couple then proceeded to play roulette, where they won $50,000. Bolero-Trenton proceeded to get really drunk on top-shelf drinks and lost the couple’s roulette winnings playing blackjack. 

 

The happy couple were briefly winners.

 

Enraged at her loss, she attacked the dealer, and the casino's security guards threw her onto the sidewalk. Trenton managed to get his inebriated bride back to their hotel room safely, and the couple returned to the Amazon with wonderful memories and big hangovers.