Competitors for Saturday’s Fight Club are limited, so those wishing to fight are encouraged to sign up early

 

By Persephone Bolero-Trenton

AMAZON — The Dia De Los Muertos Fights are this weekend, and competitors are encouraged to sign up early. 

Hope, the fight organizer, said slots are first come, first serve. 

“I've got a limit set to 40, and participation prizes for all. First place gets a trophy — Champion of Dia De Los Muertos 2024,” Hope told the Amazon River Sun. 

Competitors can sign up at Gallivant’s Clearing. Just click the board in the middle of the clearing, and you will be registered.

The competition will be at the Fight Club arena, which is open all week for those who wish to practice. The event begins at 11 a.m. SLT on Saturday, Nov. 2nd. Anyone is welcome to participate. 

For questions, contact Hope (elusive.cristole).

Local publisher admits seeker Tantrica Banana was framed for assault, confirming accuser is a ‘law bending ass-whore’

Law bending ass whore. File photo

By Amazon River Sun Staff

AMAZON — Tantrica Banana was convicted in a trial several years ago on charges of analing raping Persephone Bolero-Trenton with a walrus bone strap-on at Gallivant’s Clearing while onlookers cheered and one sold popcorn.

Her accuser, Persephone Bolero-Trenton, publisher of the Amazon River Sun, now claims the sex was consensual and Banana was framed. 

“What can I say? I was smoking a lot of crack back then,” Bolero-Trenton told Sun reporters during a press conference Saturday.

 

Tantrica Banana, innocent victim framed by junkie File photo

 

Bolero-Trenton’s confession confirms testimony at the trial by seeker Lyric Wishbringer who said the sexual act was a exhibtionist performance, which was enjoyed by others. Wishbringer also alleged that some of those claiming the act was not consensual were just jealous that they weren't getting Banana's attention.

As part of the conviction, Bolero was ordered into drug rehabilitation at the Red Coast Resort, which she says was a resounding success. Banana was sentenced to community service.

“Tantrica was innocent and everyone should treat her as the victim of lies told by a drug-addled fabulist,” Bolero-Trenton said while drinking a martini. “As part of my 12-step program, I need to make amends. So, here I am, making amends.”

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