Sunday, March 24, 2024

New bar in trendy Volcano neighborhood caters to natives and settlers of every stripe

 

Dee's Lounge
Dee Voxel serves up cocktails and beer.
Photos by Persephone Bolero

By Persephone Bolero

BAIA SANTA ROSA — While the jungle offers few modern amenities, an enterprising couple is carving out a little piece of poshness in the harsh terrain.

Dee’s Lounge, owned and operated by Dee and Adaginna Voxel, is a trendy new club in the upscale neighborhood near the volcano.

“This place has kinda always been a dream, really. I just hope to add some excitement to the jungle,” Dee told the Amazon River Sun

Happy couple
Dee and Adaginna Voxel, lounge owners


The spot contains a bar, a bath house, a massage parlor, and a comfortable corner where people can sit and enjoy the sensual movements of a dancer.

The Voxels haven’t yet hired any dancers, so for the time being, you’ll have to bring your own. But they do have a wide assortment of drinks, from top-shelf libations to bitter native grog.  

“We are mainly aiming for a broad range of customers. We want everyone to be welcome and feel like they can relax here. Over time, if there is a demand, we will employ dancers and wait staff,” Dee said. 

Just a demonstration
Sun publisher Persephone Bolero demonstrates
how a dancer might look if the lounge had dancers.


This is actually the second incarnation of “Dee’s Lounge.” Previously, Dee ran it as a country-themed establishment, which met an unfortunate end.

“Yes, back several years ago, but it was burned by Raiders, sadly,” Dee said, referring to a gang that used to control parts of Lago Marimba. Its members have long since vanished — likely run off after a series of successful offenses. 

Massages!
Dee's Lounge includes a massage parlor.


Despite its posh character, Dee said that the lounge has gotten a warm welcome from the Xoco and the Tapi.

Dee’s Lounge is the second bar to set up shop in the jungle. A few weeks ago, Sunisa Minoptra opened her own establishment, which caters to a less distinguished crowd.

Sunisa Minoptra
Sunisa Minoptra at Suni's Bar. File photo


Minoptra told the Sun that she feels no threats from the competition.

“There's plenty of room in this jungle for two bars. Theirs in the arse-end of nowhere next to an active volcano, and my bar is in a prime position on the Elder's Path,” Minoptra said.

During a tour of Dee’s Lounge, a dead dog was discovered in a tub inside the bath house. Minoptra denied any knowledge of the matter. 

Native life
A rustic camp offers something familiar to wary natives.


“A dead dog in a tub? As if I'd do something like that? I'm a respected Police Sergeant round here!” Minoptra insisted.

Dee’s Lounge is open seven days a week, depending on how motivated the Voxels feel and how many people show up.

Clean bath!
The bathhouse after the animal carcass was removed.

Wednesday, March 20, 2024

Breaking: Local man's boat set on fire and its owner is missing

 

Love boat
Photos by Leslie Trenton

 By Persephone Bolero

PARANA DO CAREIRO--

UPDATE: Micke's not dead and wasn't harmed during the incident.

 A river vessel believed to be owned by Micke, a local man who lives in the swamps of Parana Do Careiro, was seen Wednesday burning in the river in the Rio Grande community. 

Micke was not found anywhere near the vessel, nor was he at his residence in the swamps. His shack did not appear to have been vandalized or burglarized.

It's not currently known if Micke is still alive. He may be suffering severe, third-degree burns, and having wandered off after suffering these injuries, he collapsed. He may therefore be all alone somewhere in the jungle, moaning in agony and reaching for the sky in a vain attempt to signal for someone, anyone to help. 

Dead or suffering?

Or he may be just fine. The Sun staff will update this story as we learn more.  If you know of Micke's whereabouts or you find his horribly burned body, please contact the Sun staff. 

Micke
Micke, seen here in the Carnival Parade File photo


Sunday, March 10, 2024

‘Witch’ brews natural male performance enhancement drugs, and I got to see it in action

Witch of the Elder's Path
The Witch of the Elder's Path seeks more test subjects
Photos by Persephone Bolero


By Persephone Bolero

As the Amazon’s most dogged reporter, I’m always fishing for stories. My friend Mike is involved in a clandestine operations, and I have for weeks been trying to get him to tell me more about them.

“Mike,” by the way, is not his real name. One afternoon I was pressing him about his professional activities, and he once again declined to divulge details of his investigations. He did, however, share with me an interesting story. Due to the intimate nature of his experience, he asked me to use a pseudonym if I decided to write about it.

A witch, Mike told me, had given him a potion that, shall we say, allowed his soldier to stand at attention for an extended period of time.

“It made me unstoppable,” Mike said, adding that it was also painful.

Mike has a military background and no doubt he has seen some things that would shatter less resilient men. But I do believe, as he told me about his hours-long encounter with this witch, that I saw just the slightest hint of a blush.

Mike agreed to show me where this witch lived, and after a diligent search, I was, dear readers, able to make contact with this elusive woman.

 

The witch's lab
Stefanie's lab is primitive but effective

 

The natural method

Her given name is Stefanie, but she is known by some as the Witch of the Elder’s Path. She stands a bit taller than the average woman. Blonde braids snake through the long locks of hair spilling upon her shoulders, with a few errant strands sprouting here and there. Her face is marked with paint, but her pleasant demeanor softens an otherwise intimidating gaze.

Her slender physique suggests a woman who maintains a fitness naturally without any deliberate effort through Pilates or yoga, and her breasts are large and firm. Many men, as well as many women, would certainly agree she’s quite attractive.

“When a male drinks the proper amount of the potion, it will give him an erection that lasts for hours,” she told me when I asked about her potion’s effects. She speaks with an accent I couldn’t quite place, but her English is fluent.

“Where I come from,” I said, “there’s a pill that has the same effect.”

Stefanie conceded her potion does the same thing, but, she said, her potion is cheaper and wasn’t made in a pharmaceutical lab.

“This is a natural method,” she averred.

She said she makes this potion with herbs and ingredients she finds here in the jungle, which makes it much more available than modern medications.

 

Rustic
The potent potion sits upon the witch's table


The test subject

In order to accurately attest to the effects of the drug, I needed to see it in action. Of course, this reporter lacks necessary equipment to experience those effects herself. Fortunately enough, Leslie Trenton, an Amazon-based bush pilot, agreed to be one of the witch’s test subjects.

(Full disclosure: Leslie is a financial supporter of the Amazon River Sun.)

“Oh the things I do for the paper,” Leslie remarked after agreeing to take the substance.

He added that he is not in need of such a drug, and, dear readers, I can say from personal experience this is undoubtedly true. Nonetheless, in the interest of helping to produce the fine journalism Sun readers expect, Leslie graciously consumed a dose of Stefanie’s potion.

Stefanie’s Spartan lab is lit by torches. She lacks any electronic equipment, autoclaves or monitors. She wears no smocks or latex gloves. Instead, this brewer of natural enhancements works with her hands as bare as her breasts.

Her lab includes a wooden cage, and she assured me it wasn’t to detain unwilling test subjects.

“It is in case they have bad symptoms, so I can cure them. So they don't die. Some want to run out and seek a healer, and since the healer won't know how to cure them, they might die. So, I lock them up until I'm sure they're safe. I really don't want anyone to get hurt or die,” the witch explained.

She added that no one has died from her potion in a long time.

While we waited for the drug to take effect on Leslie, Stefanie provided me a few details about her past. She said she is from “far away.” She was brought to the Amazon by “some bad people,” who then sold her. She managed to escape her slavers and was taken in by a tribe.

I was about to ask which tribe took her in when she said, “They’re all dead now.” Rather than pry into a painful experience, I let the topic go.

Some side effects

As Leslie undressed, Stefanie mentioned there are some side effects.

“Sometimes headaches, racing heartbeat. Sometimes vomiting, fever, aches and pains,” she said.

It was at that point that Leslie, his member fully engorged, began to sweat. While one part of him was alive and with vigor, his face was turning a pale green.

“Holy crap. If this is a headache incoming, it is a migraine level,” Leslie said in his Scottish accent.

Stefanie then pushed Leslie’s soldier down, and it yielded only slightly, springing back up as soon as removed her hand. So full of enthusiasm it was, it appeared to throb.

“It feels like the shaft is about to burst — bugger! " he gasped, trying to hold down the nausea he said he felt. He further described the negative side effects: "Hot, possible fever, nausea, cold, and a bursting headache.”

 

Pain and pleasure
Leslie and his associate stand at attention

 

Yet, despite these unpleasant reactions, Leslie said he was, just from a simple touch from Stefanie, about to “make a mess” on the lab’s stone floor.

"Like the best touch ever. And I have had some magical hands on it,” is how he described the sensations that Stefanie gave him as she began to stroke.

Yet, despite the negative side effects, he warned that he felt he could easily ejaculate at any moment. And sure enough, seconds later, the witch’s belly was splattered with gooey release.

La petite mort

While virile and capable, Leslie is not a younger man. Once he spends himself, a period of flaccidity normally follows. Yet, under the influence of the witch’s potion, having only minutes before enjoyed a release by the pleasure of Stefanie’s hand, it appeared that not even a cat could scratch the hardness the test subject continued to display.

“This bastard should relax by now,” Leslie remarked with surprise as he collapsed on a fur rug on the floor of the lab.

On her work bench, Stefanie prepared a paste that she said would ease some of the test subject’s pain.

While these side effects, dear readers, may seem to nullify any benefits of the drug, it should be noted that, while lying on the rug, Leslie looked up at me with what appeared to be lust. Perhaps this could be the tendency for men to think about sex in all manner of situations, or perhaps the effects of the drug. I will leave it up to you, the readers, to decide which.

Despite a taste that he described as a “rotting squirrel,” Leslie said he felt better after ingesting the paste.

Demonstrating the enduring potency of the drug, Stefanie knelt in front of Leslie again, who had managed to get to his feet. The witch took him again in her hand. She stroked only a few times before her face was dripping with Leslie’s semen, as he moaned with pleasure.

 

Second time
Leslie manages a second performance
moments after the first.

 

Further development

Stefanie is continuing to improve her potion, and she said she is confident she can, with enough testing, produce a potion that can produce the intensified and prolonged male pleasure — and subsequently the female’s as well — without the painful side effects.

Of course, the male readership of the Amazon River Sun would all say they require no enhancements, and that is no doubt true. However, Stefanie is seeking more test subjects who would like to help her perfect her potion. Her home can be found under a large tree, on the western side of the river, across from the Sun offices in Rio Grande.

The best time to find her is in the dawn hours.

Later that day, I crossed paths with Leslie, who said he suffered no lasting unpleasant effects. A few hours later, his manhood had returned to its normal default state, and all that remained of the drug’s impacts, he said, was a “tingling” in that area.

In the interest of thorough journalism, I felt it necessary to ensure there were no injuries as a result of his prolonged engorgement. I can attest, dear readers, hours after taking a dose of Stefanie’s potion, Leslie was able to perform again, and everything worked just as it should.