Sunday, June 23, 2024

The Amazon River Sun welcomes a new reporter

Cerise
Cerise is the Sun's newest reporter
Photo by Persephone Bolero

 

By Persephone Bolero

RIO GRANDE — Readers of the Amazon River Sun will soon be seeing a new reporter in the pages of their favorite newspaper.

Cerise comes to the Sun with a background in linguistics, and she previously edited magazines dedicated to yachting and boating. She is a competent sailor from the “dark island” of Albion, which, she said, some call England. Her ancestors are a mix of African, Arab and Spanish.

“I was on a training trip towards the east of my island, when the winds changed and I ended near the volcano. Sadly, I hit ground,” Cerise explained.

After the accident, she traded away a watch and phones for some basic necessities to settle down in the Amazon for a while. She said she enjoys the atmosphere of the jungle, including the dense, humid air, the smell of the river, the vegetation and the sounds of birds.

Cerise will be writing on a wide variety of topics, but she has said she’s intrigued by the lives of the natives and their decision to remain loyal to prehistoric practices.

“I love non-Western cultures,” Cerise said.

She is also interested in the sexual culture of the jungle. She said she enjoys the raw, primitive and unbridled sexuality of this community, which rejects Western sexual restraint, prudence and privacy.

“I actually have this belief that what us Westerners call ‘hard sex’ is nothing but real sex,” Cerise said.

She said she will avoid letting any sexual interactions interfere with her anthropological work.

Cerise will appreciate any news tips readers would like to bring her way, and we here at the Sun look forward to featuring her work in the jungle’s most popular community newspaper.

Sunday, June 9, 2024

Xoco arsonists set fire to oil field causing major ecological disaster

 

Xoco disaster
Xoco arsonists leave behind a calling card after causing ecological disaster

By Amazon River Sun Staff

NAYELI— Xoco arsonists Saturday set fire to an oilfield in Nayeli. The fire sent plumes of toxic black smoke rising over the jungle. 

Persephone Bolero, CEO of Bolero Petroleum Resources LLC, which owns the oilfield, told the Amazon River Sun that, due to the lack of water infrastructure in the jungle, there’s no way to extinguish the blaze. 

“It’s going to continue smoldering for a week. The sad irony is that the operation would have funded infrastructure projects that, among other things, could have put water pipes in the ground allowing firefighters to keep the jungle safe from fires. Thanks to the ecoterrorists these vital infrastructure projects won’t likely happen,” Bolero said. 

The arson attack was committed sometime Saturday afternoon. At the time, Bolero was holding an ad hoc community meeting with members of various native tribes who had some concerns about the project.

Bolero said she was explaining to the natives all the benefits the company’s philanthropy would bring to the jungle, and many of those present were receptive. Unfortunately, she said, there is a faction of natives who hate progress, and that group threatened to do violence unless operations ceased. 

“Some people fear change, and they’re willing to use violence to keep it from happening,” Bolero said. 

The arsonists left behind a flag of the Xoco tribe, and the previous week Xoco Chieftess Khaing Zar had threatened vandalism and violence if the oil well was put into production. 

During the community meeting, Xoco member Sunisa Minoptra, who is a part of the violent native faction, excused herself, saying she had another matter to attend to. The arson attack happened soon after.

The Sun was unable to reach Minoptra for comment.

 

Sunisa did it
Toxic fumes rise off


According to the company, the fumes from the fire could potentially cause serious health consequences and they’re urging anyone living in the areas of Rio Solimoes, Rio Grande or Nayeli to see a healer if they experience difficulty breathing, skin tumors, diarrhea, vomiting, eye irritation, spontaneous miscarriages, impotence or hair loss.

Even after the blaze is contained, Bolero said, the area will likely be a health hazard for years to come and could lead to lasting illnesses in the community.

“I tried to warn the natives that wanton destruction of the oilfield would turn a safe operation into a dangerous toxic mess. They wouldn’t listen,” Bolero said, adding that she expects some jungle species to go extinct as a result of the Xoco-caused incident.

 

Toxic
An environmental disaster

When asked if she’s angry about the destruction of her oil company, Bolero said she’s only saddened that the natives won’t benefit from better sanitation and safety that the infrastructure projects her company was going to pay for would have brought. 

Juan Gutierrez, owner of Juan’s Oilfield Services, said his business is destroyed and he will have to lay off one part-time employee. 

“I’m so sad,” said the impoverished business owner. 

 

Poor Juan
Juan Gutierrez looks sad as he returns to bush flying.

Gutierrez said he will try to transfer the employee to his bush flying service, but he’s not sure if the skillset of a roughneck would be a good fit for a flight attendant position. 

Bolero said that, prior to the arson attack, she had taken out an expansive insurance policy that covers losses on future production from criminal attacks and acts of war. As a result, she will not be suffering any losses and will even make a profit from the ill-fated venture. 

Since natives hate progress so much, Bolero said she is going to use her profits to buy a fur coat and a gas-powered generator for the offices of the Amazon River Sun, of which she is the publisher. 

“I just feel sorry for those who wanted to see the jungle prosper,” Bolero said.

Tuesday, June 4, 2024

Oil development in the jungle to fund life-saving community sanitation infrastructure

happy oil
Artist rendering of natives celebrating petroleum and the
and the benefits it will bring to their lives.

 

By Amazon River Sun Staff
 

RIO GRANDE -- Bolero News Services announced an entrepreneurial venture Wednesday, which is expected to benefit many in the jungle community.  

Exploratory drilling at the Xoco camp revealed a large oil reserve deep beneath the surface. Bolero News Services is partnering with Juan’s Oilfield Services to develop the petroleum resource. 

“It’s amazing how many untapped resources can be found here in the Amazon, and with the lax regulatory environment, it’s very easy to develop them,” Persephone Bolero, CEO of Bolero News Services, told the Amazon River Sun

The partnership between the two companies will be operating as Bolero Petroleum Resources LLC.

Bolero said that a portion of the proceeds from the oil will be used to fund valuable sanitary infrastructure projects in the jungle. A recent Sun report discovered a strong correlation between the lack of sanitary practices in the jungle and cases of cholera along the river. 

She explained that natives are very suspicious of modern life-saving practices, including sanitation and advanced medicine.

Outhouse
Persephone Bolero said Bolero Petroleum Resources LLC
will provide natives with lessons on how to be sanitary.

Khaing Zar, chieftess of the Xoco, told the Sun during a weekly community dinner that the natives’ aversion to toilets is healthy and they regularly collect their feces to produce food. 

“We have sanitation! Not the filthy polluted rivers and coastlines of the cities, but the fast flowing Amazon. And dung is processed for crops and fuel,” Zar said. 

Zar vowed that she and her tribe would protect her “sacred places” and would sic her concubine on anyone trying to develop resources. 

“You won’t know what hit you!” Zar roared. 

Bolero said that thanks to the technology of horizontal drilling, which was developed in the United States, the Xoco won’t even be aware of the operation taking place beneath their camp. 

Oil
Horizontal drilling has no impacts to natives

“It’s completely safe. The Xoco can dance, drink and sit around doing nothing without being disturbed,” Bolero explained. 

The pad is the only part of the operation that’s visible on the surface, and Bolero said for security purposes it’s location is being withheld. 

She said that she expects that the proceeds will begin funding the construction of outhouses within a month.