Chaos members say recent attacks were in retaliation to theft of sacred Mojo

The Chaos' Mojo is well defended.
(Photo by Persephone Bolero)

RIO GRANDE — The Amazon River Sun has learned of a number of attacks committed by Chaos against the Xoco and other tribes.

One source close the Xoco tribe, who was not authorized to speak to the press, said she was involved in a recent altercation with members of Chaos. As a result of her bravery, she said, members of Chaos awarded her with a “shoot on sight” order.

The members of Chaos, however, told the Amazon River Sun that they are only defending themselves against thieves who have stolen their Mojo.

"They don't want trouble, they shouldn't break in to our place,” Chaos member Amber Shieldmaiden said.

Amber Shieldmaiden said that the group doesn’t have any interest in making enemies. They won’t gang up on people just to win a fight, nor will they initiate aggressive actions against people who leave Chaos unmolested.

"Just the other day, I saw [Chaos member] Mateo fighting someone. I just ran along and watched, to make sure Mateo didn't need assistance,” Amber said, adding that she’s a healer and is on hand in case someone needs her medical services.   

“Sometimes, I join in. Depends. We don't want to come across as bullies or anything,” Amber said.

Chaos member Syrissa Broono told the Amazon River Sun that the recent altercation with the Xoco was the result of a firearm mishap.

“It was a lil’ bit of an issue with a gun. It was jammed, and when I tried to unjam it, it went off. Someone — a women in Xoco — got wounded and all hell broke loose,” Broono explained.

Stephen Shieldmaiden, Amber’s husband, also stated that members of Chaos engage in hostilities with other residents of the Amazon only when defending their own members and property. 

 

Stephen Shieldmaiden (File Photo)

“We attack those that attack us. They take the Mojo, that's an attack on us. You don't want to be shot? Don't take the Mojo. Its that simple,” Stephen said.

Stephen said the Chaos camp has multiple cameras, and surveillance footage showed two members of the Xoco stealing Chaos’ Mojo. He declined to say which members had done it.

Amber, who wasn’t present during the recent altercation with the Xoco, said she was surprised that two members of Chaos were able to take the tribe down.

"I was always under the impression the Xoco were a force to be reckoned with,” Amber said.

The Amazon River Sun was unable to locate any members of the Xoco who could comment on the matter.

Stephen said that he’s confident that Chaos has the strength and capability to keep its Mojo safe from any would-be thieves. But, he added, there’s an ebb and flow in the Amazon.

“Right now, doesn't seem to be anyone to stop us. And I’m sure that wont last forever,” he said.

Resort owner invents flying machine, brings modern comforts to the Amazon

Jonas Daviau next to the Helitek at the EK Resort
(Photo by Persephone Bolero)

By Persephone Bolero

LAS NINAS — A local man and his wife are using their entrepreneurial and technical skills to bring a little modern luxury to the jungle, including tours by air of the best spots along the river. 

Jonas Daviau and his wife Eastonia Daviau operate the EK Resort, which is located on the eastern beaches of Las Ninas.

Jonas told the Amazon River Sun that the resort was originally his wife’s idea — as were many of this other ventures.

“The resort is not big but really comfortable,” Jonas said. “Guests can easily pick bananas and coconut, and can start a new life of holidays without completely leaving civilization.”

The couple also have a number of activities at the resort, including tours by air in a type of helicopter called a Helitek, which Jonas invented himself. He said he originally developed the aircraft so that he could pick up Eastonia anywhere in the jungle and take her wherever she needed to go.

Flying around the jungle, Eastonia had an idea. 

Jonas Daviau ready to pilot his invention.
(Photo by Persephone Bolero)

“She suggests to make commercial flights for tourists.,” Jonas said. “Now Helitec provides many destinations in the jungle. By the way, it can drive people to our famous native tribes — Tapi, Xoco and Jurito,” Jonas said.

At the resort, they also have available romantic balloon tours, which offer privacy with an “awesome view,” he said.

The resort also has tours by submarine.

There are two ways to use the Helitek, Jonas said. People new to the jungle are required to have Jonas pilot the craft. However, guests of the resort and others can get coins that allow them to fly the Helitek after some training.

Jonas is hoping his air tours take off — excuse the pun — and bring some comforts of the modern world.

“I would like that tourists and guests to be safe in their first paths in Amazon. I imagine they could have a tour to visit the best spot in our jungle safely, to explore without any (fear) and to discover the best view of the jungle from the sky,” he said.

Those wanting a tour can meet Jonas at the resort, or leave a note in a mailbox next to the Helitek if he’s off flying around.

According to Jonas' Helitek brochure, riders can be picked up at the EK Resort or the landing. There are nine tours available, including tours of the magical falls, a hunting safari, the crocodile reserve, the S.A.L.T. Outpost, as well as the Jurito, Tapirape and Xoco camps.

Cha0s foils suspected Mojo theft, charges accused 20 chickens

Ozi imprisoned by Cha0s. (Photo by Persephone Bolero)

By Persephone Bolero, publisher

RIO GRANDE — An altercation in the camp of the gang known as Cha0s Thursday resulted a man being caged and accused of theft.

Stephen and Amber Shieldmaiden, members of Cha0s, accused a man calling himself Ozi of attempting to steal from the gang’s Mojo idol. 

After a brief gunfight, the man was captured and caged at the Cha0s camp.

According to Shieldmaiden, Ozi hatched a plan with another associate to distract members of cha0s while their idol Mojo was stolen.

Ozi denied the accusations and complained of conditions he described as “cruel.”

“They locked me up because I refused to pay pretty coin for Stephen's goods. Robber is what I called him,” Ozi told the Amazon River Sun.

If Cha0s' accusations are true, the plan failed, as the gang was still in possession of the idol as of press time.

Stephen Shieldmaiden, who is owner of Stephen's Amazon Lost Trading, said that man is in escaped convict who served years for a crime. Ozi denied the claim.

“I ain't convict. I escaped this life some time ago, and you were the one robbing me with your ridiculous prices,” Ozi said.

After some negotiations, Ozi was released on the agreement he would bring Cha0s 20 chickens. Sheildmaiden said he’d pay the man 300 coins and a stew or two for delivery.

Tapi celebrate return of mojo idol; worry it'll get taken again

 

Whispering Wind, left, and Catten Carter dance for their
mojo with an unidentified dog
(Photo credit: Persephone Bolero)

RIO SOLIMOES — The Tapirape tribe were dancing furiously Sunday in celebration of the return of their mojo. 

Tapi Shaman Whispering Wind told the Amazon River Sun that the idol had been missing for some time.

“Very long. I cant even remember when we last had it,” Wind said.

Her husband, Catten Carter, who is also a member of the Tapi, said the tribe never stopped worshiping the idol and were thrilled when they happened to stumble upon it.

“Suddenly we came upon it in a hidden place in Tanana. No wonder no one saw it. It was very well hidden,” Carter said.

Wind said that she worries now that others will come for the coveted item.

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BREAKING: Local alien abductee now tentacle-free

Stephen Shieldmaiden prior to his operation
(file photo)

RIO GRANDE — A local alien abductee who sprouted a tentacle from his chest after consuming a potion supplied to him by a seeker says he’s now tentacle-free.

Stephen Shieldmaiden told the Amazon River Sun that he has successfully removed the tentacle that sprouted from his chest.

“I convinced Amber [his wife] to cut it off with her katana. Then, I used liberal amounts of moonshine to douse and clean the wound,” Shieldmaiden said

Shieldmaiden said that the tentacle continued to squirm after it was severed, suggesting the operation didn’t kill the alien appendage.

“That was a nasty bugger,” he added.

Amber Shieldmaiden said her husband has not yet seen a shaman after the ad-hoc operation.

Stephen Shieldmaiden vanished mysteriously for a couple weeks in what is highly suspected to be a kidnapping by the elusive alien species known as the Monks. Experts believe the species is keeping the human race primitive to prevent intergalactic rivalry with another advanced species.

Why these aliens kidnapped Shieldmaiden remains a mystery, and he has no recollection of what happened during his absence. 

He had previously told the Sun that he experienced a “squirming” in his chest following his reappearance. On Jan. 1, he consumed a potion from a seeker calling herself Maya Buttreeks, and the tentacle sprouted from his chest.

Others who consumed the potion became ill, and police are investigating the matter.

Aside from a “twinge,” Shieldmaiden said he hasn’t experienced any further symptoms of tentacle infestation. He is currently seeking out a shaman called “JoJo” for expert diagnosis.

Amber Shieldmaiden said she believes the seeker’s potion helped her husband. Her husband believes the potion, whatever it was, didn’t cause the tentacle infection but likely caused it to jump from his body.

“It was a powerful potion to have purged such a foul thing from me,” Shieldmaiden said, adding that he believes the tentacle is related to the green slime that he was covered in after his reappearance. This is the same substance he’d been walking through before being kidnapped by what are likely Monks.

“Both are green and have a weird consistency to them. I think it’s all because of the aliens or Monks -- whatever you want to call them -- that dwells in that cave,” he said, referring to a cave near the Jurito camp where an alien craft had crashed or been hidden some time ago.

"I haven't had much experience dealing with the monks. I swear it's aliens! No way is that normal stuff!” Amber Shieldmaiden said.

Her husband said he would still like answers to what happened to him. He also said he’s been preoccupied with “miniature things” in a laboratory near the “goat Monks’ cave.”

“It’s almost like a dance in my head, and it ain’t no waltz. I seen the shit up there and I feel completely violated by those spindly fingered dudes,” he said.

The experience, he said, has left him shaken and angered.

I’m “pissed off something could do this. Just take me away. It’s like three weeks of my life have been wiped clean, and I didn't even get kissed. That's just wrong,” he said.

Update: Amazonia Policia investigate alleged poisoning

GALLIVANT'S CLEARING — Samples of a potion that was sold by seekers are being sent to a lab, according to a source within the Amazonia Policia. 

A seeker identifying herself as Maya Buttreeks sold potions at Gallivant's Clearing on Sunday. Steven Shieldmaiden, who reappeared after being abducted by extraterrestrials, sprouted a tentacle after consuming the potion. Another man became ill.

An officer with the Amazonia Policia told the Amazon River Sun that the agency had acquired a sample of the potion and was sending it to a lab to be tested. The officer was not authorized to speak with the media and cannot be named.

What's your poison? - Man sprouts tentacle after consuming 'potion' sold by seeker

GALLIVANT'S CLEARING — A man who recently reappeared after a mysterious absence — and who is believed to have been abducted by aliens — consumed a potion Sunday that was sold from a cart at Gallivant's Clearing. After consuming the concoction, the man sprouted a tentacle from his chest.

Others also appeared to be harmed after consuming the substance, but the seller, who appeared to be a seeker, denies her potions harmed anyone.  

Stephen Shieldmaiden, a SALT associate, was recently reported missing. His wife, Amber Shieldmaiden, said he disappeared near the Jurito camp after stepping in what she described as “green goo,” which is commonly associated with Monks.

The Jurito tribe is not believed to have been involved with Stephen Shieldmaiden’s disappearance.

Amber Shieldmaiden told the Amazon River News in December that her husband abruptly vanished.

“There was a loud WHOOSH and Stephen vanished into thin air!” Amber Shieldmaiden said, adding that she suspected involvement of extraterrestrials.

Her husband reappeared a couple weeks after the incident and told the Amazon River Sun that he has little memory of what transpired during his absence.

Shieldmaiden said she hadn’t noticed anything different about her husband since he was found, but he had been complaining about a “squirming” in his chest.

On Sunday, a woman calling herself Maya Buttreeks began selling what she described as a “potion” at Gallivant's Clearing.

Buttreeks wasn’t wearing any clothes and carried a slingshot, which she used to threaten reporters who were at the scene. Seekers are often spotted by their nudity and their slingshots.

After consuming a bottle of the substance Buttreeks was selling, a tentacle sprouted from Steven Shieldmaiden's body.

The Shieldmaidens had discussed cutting the superfluous appendage off, but it was unclear at the time of publication if the ad-hoc surgery was attempted.

The Amazon River Sun reached out to the Shieldmaidens to ask if there was any awkwardness during the couple’s lovemaking as a result of the extra limb, but didn’t receive a response.

One unidentified native man who drank a bottle of the so-called potion started dancing. Shortly after, he became ill and collapsed, saying he was experiencing painful nausea.

Another woman, who was dressed like a seeker and called herself Trini, fell unconscious, but the woman claimed to have never consumed Buttreeks’ potion.

Buttreeks denied causing any of the suffering that was observed, and Stephen Shieldmaiden told an Amazon River Sun reporter that the potion would “cure what ails you.”

However, experts say that alien abductees are known to experience mind control from their abductors — sometimes years after their abduction.

It’s unclear if Shieldmaiden is suffering such effects, but if he were, he’d be likely to support seekers and other Monk associates, as well as defend any actions causing humans harm.

The Amazonia Policia were notified of the incident, but law enforcement didn’t appear to be opening an investigation at the time of publication.

Amazon River Sun - About Us

The Amazon River Sun is the flagship publication of Bolero News Services. Launched last year, the Amazon River Sun offers news and information about events free from any interference from Monks or any other extraterrestrial influence. We believe all Amazonians, even primitive natives who lack proper sanitation or running water, should have access to accurate, timely information on the events and issues that impact our community. 

Letters Policy:
The Amazon River Sun will publish letters, even if they're from Monks or their associates, apologists, or henchmen. Letters should be no longer than 600 words in length and may be edited for style and brevity, but not for viewpoint. Letters can be sent to the publisher.

Freelance submissions:
The Amazon River Sun welcomes work from freelance writers. Submit articles to the publisher, and you will be contacted if we decide to run your piece. 

STAFF

Persephone Bolero
Publisher

Persephone Bolero-Trenton is a veteran journalist with a long career exposing the evil plans of Monks and seekers. A native of Los Angeles, California, Bolero earned her Juris Doctor degree from Phoenix Online College. She previously reported for the Amazon River News, before launching the Amazon River Sun. In her free time, she enjoys hiking, reading, and mind-blowing orgasms.