Exclusive: Local resident returns after mysterious absence only to find he's no longer a man, Monk involvement suspected

 

Shui prior to transformation
File photo

Shui, a close associate of the lesbian Xoco tribe, won’t be winning any Best Cock Contests anytime soon. 

Earlier this month, after DJing the Xoco’s Friday party, Shui exploded. In a ball of flame, he ascended into the sky displaying wings of fire. 

Approximately a week later, Shui reappeared largely intact, with the exception of a key difference. He no longer has a penis and has grown a pair of breasts. He also claims that DNA tests show he no longer has a y sex chromosome, which triggers the development of male physical traits and reproductive organs. 

In an exclusive interview with the Amazon River Sun, Shui said he has “not the slightest” idea why this happened. He also has no recollection of what occurred during his disappearance. 

Prior to his combustion event, he had been wearing black body paint, for reasons that remain unclear. He speculates that the the body paint may have something to do with this mysterious transformation. 

“I assume it started with that black body paint. Who knows what was in that? And in hindsight, that guy who sold me that paint, seemed pretty shady. I also never saw him again. But from all that happened, I mean, who could pull that off?” Shui said.

Another possibility, Shui proposes, is that the Monks may have switched his gender. 

“I could only imagine the Monks being able to do that, right? I don’t want to accuse them, though. I have no proof, nothing.” Shui said. 

While the Monks are known for keeping humans in a primitive state lacking technological development, which is believed to be a means to subjugate the race, there have not been reports to date of them causing people to explode and switch genders.  

Shui added, likely with some underlying humor, he’s hoping the Amazon’s incompetent police force will investigation.  

Where his cock used to be, Shui claims to have a fully functioning vagina. Though the Amazon River Sun did not independently verify the claim. 

However, the degree to which his genitalia are fully function remains to be seen. While urination and sexual pleasure work as expected, he said he has yet to menstruate. Experts, known as women, say Shui is in for a rude awakening should he begin to experience that side of womanhood. 

“You don't have something to hold onto, if you know what I mean. But it does feel good.” - Shui on masturbating with his new vagina.

Shui had not had sex with another partner when the Amazon River Sun conducted the exclusive interview, but he said he had masturbated. Being the only human in existence to experience sexual pleasure as both a male and female, Shui said the stimulation of his clitorus is “similar but different” to the stimulation of his former penis. 

 “You don't have something to hold onto, if you know what I mean. But it does feel good,” Shui said. 

Shui said he doesn’t want to remain in his current state, and experts — women — say he’s likely to become more desperate should he begin menstruating. Among the options he’s considering is surgery, but that’s likely to result in a less-than-ideal outcome. 

 “I don't want to hurt this body and get something that is not me either,” Shui said. 

 

A memorial erected — excuse the pun — at the 
Xoco camp following Shui's disappearance.

 

He said he might contact the Monks to see if they can help. However, if they are responsible for Shui’s transformation, it would be part of their nefarious plans to oppress the human race. So, they wouldn’t likely be willing to restore Shui to his previous state. 

For now, Shui is a woman and will have to become accustomed to all that entails.