Xoco underwear stolen during Friday Xoco dance; community shocked to learn Xoco own panties

Sunisa's panties. Have you seen me?
File photo

 
By Persephone Bolero

RIO GRANDE -- Sunisa Minoptra, a member of the Xoco, reports that an unknown pervert is stealing underwear.

Minoptra told the Amazon River Sun that the undergarments went missing during the Xoco party on Friday, May 10. She believes it was not a fellow member of the Xoco, and many in the Amazon community are shocked to discover members of the Xoco own unmentionables. 

“I suspect one of the males present is responsible,” Minoptra said. 

Males are known to sometimes participate in the Xoco’s weekly naked dance parties. The members who attended Friday’s naked dance party included Cento, a local artist; Shui, a primitive-dressing man who is unaffiliated with any tribe; Kart and Catten, both members of the Tapis; and Oscar, whose affiliation is unknown.

These suspects do not have a history of petty sex crimes, but Sunisa refused to rule them out. 

"Never underestimate a pervert. Any one of those males could be a secret panty thief,” Minoptra said.

Another possible explanation is that a chimpanzee trained by seekers stole the clothing, as has previously happened.  

If anyone has any information about this crime, the Xoco would like their panties back. Though it’s unclear why. 

Correction: A previous version of this article identified Oscar as a member of Chaos. He has only been occasionally shot by Chaos and was never affiliated with the group.