From left: Eve Heartsong, Dylan Heartsong,
Aiyana and Mitch. Photo by Persephone Bolero
By Persephone Bolero-Trenton (Follow her on Primfeed)
AMAZON — Aiyana took the top prize in Sunday's Best Breasts Contest, and the judges selected Dylan Heartsong, president of Libertad, as the winner of the Best Chest Contest.
Eve Heartsong, first lady of Libertad, was the runner up in the Best Breasts Contest, and Micke was runner up in the men's competition.
"Well, that was not expected," President Heartsong said when his name was called. Aiyana had few words but thanked the judges for their selection.
The judges included Leslie Trenton, a local bush pilot; Bertha Mae Ruby, heir to the Ruby fortune; Indigo, a monk from the Void; and Whispering Wind, shaman of the Tapirape Tribe.
This esteemed panel selected the winners from among nearly two dozen contestants who bared their goods for a sizeable crowd that had gathered to watch. Despite being top among a large group, Mrs. Heartsong was notably distraught over having not been chosen for the top prize.
"And for the record, I was NOT going to give you a blow job Leslie! I was bluffing!" Heartsong said in tears as her photo was taken.
Sources tell the Amazon River News that as a result of her failing to win the contest, First Lady Heartsong will be taken to the Void to be married to Indigo, where she will be required to have eight children from a selection of monk fathers.
Suggesting the rumors are true, Indigo departed shortly after the winners were announced saying he had a wedding to prepare for the following day.
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