Local healer and ‘rising star of the Amazon’ creates new evolution in trade

Collette sells fruit fusion at Gallivant's Clearing
Photos by Persephone Bolero-Trenton

 

By Persephone Bolero-Trenton

AMAZON — A local entrepreneur and skilled healer known mononymously as Collette is revolutionizing the way people buy goods and receive healing services in the jungle. 

Whereas most sellers set up a booth at a specific location and buyers must trudge through the mosquito-invested jungle to get to it, Collette decided it would be better to bring the goods to the buyer, while providing care to the sick and dying. 

“This is Glamazon Grub,” Collette told the Amazon River Sun. “I show up fabulous, charge a fee, and still serve it better than your McDonald’s Happy Meals.”

While some would say that Collette’s wares do not compare to the joy of tasty ingredients and a free toy that are so much a part of traditional American cuisine, the vendor did attract a sizeable crowd on Saturday at Gallivant’s Clearing where she had set up shop for the day. 

“I think Colette runs interesting and flexible business, able to fulfill the most of your needs here in the jungle. Rising star of Amazon, and she’s hot,” one satisfied customer, Micke, said.

 

Micke enjoys a tasty beverage.

While such an approach to hawking her wares will give her an edge over the competition, Collette said the purpose of the service was not to crush the other sellers in the Amazon. Instead, she explained, she wanted to take selling and healing to the next level.

“Stationary stalls are for those who wait. But this jungle doesn’t wait. Neither do the sick or the hungry. So I hit the path. Horse, wheels, and hustle. Being mobile wasn’t about competition. It was evolution. And just between us, being unpredictable keeps them coming back,” she said with a wink.

 

Collette, the Chic Healer, brings her mobile
vendor to the Tapirape Camp.

 

A similar concept as Collette’s mobile vender exists in the cities, where millions of people live together in health and safety thanks to modern sanitation. While cities have a wide variety of restaurants to choose from, the last thing people living in densely populated areas want to do is interact with each other.

To avoid this unpleasant interaction, someone invented DoorDash, which allows the hungry to order food and have it brought anonymously to their door step. Despite the similarities between DoorDash and Collette’s service, the healer denies any comparison because, she explained, she does not work on demand. 

“Pop-up, darling. Not DoorDash. This is Flash Fruit Fashion. One minute I’m here serving jungle glam with a side of vitamins, the next I’m gone like your ex’s promises. Mobile? Absolutely. Predictable? Never,” she said. 

Though, for the right price, she might make an exception. 

“If you tip well, I might reroute for you,” she added.